Thoughts For Life
Holy and humorous thoughts to help us through life

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#1

The Pit

A MAN FELL INTO A PIT AND COULDN'T GET HIMSELF OUT.
    A SUBJECTIVE PERSON came along and said: " I feel for you down there."
    AN OBJECTIVE PERSON came along and said: "It's logical that someone would fall
        down there."
    A SELF-RIGHTEOUS PERSON said: "Only bad people fall into pits."
    A MATHEMATICIAN calculated how he fell into the pit.
    A NEWS REPORTER wanted an exclusive story on the pit incident.
    A SELF-PITYING PERSON said: "You haven't seen anything until you've seen my pit."
    A FIRE-AND-BRIMSTONE PREACHER said: "You deserve your pit."
    A SELF-ESTEEM THERAPIST said: "If you had any self-esteem, you could get out of
         that pit."
    AN OPTIMIST said: "Things could get worse."
    A PESSIMIST said: "Things will get worse."
    A REALIST said: "See, things have gotten worse."
    AN IDEALIST said: "Your pit is better than many others."
    A PRAGMATIST said: "You could sell space in your pit."
    AN IRS AGENT asked if he was earning an income from his pit.
    JESUS CHRIST, seeing the man, took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.

#2

RULES OF THE HOUSE

I             If you open it.....................................................close it.
II            If you turn it on...................................................turn it off.
III           If you drop it ......................................................pick it up.
IV          If you wear it......................................................hang it up.
V           If you dirty it.......................................................wash it.
VI          If you sleep in it.................................................make it up.
VII         If you get it out ..................................................put it back.
VIII        If it rings.............................................................answer it.
IX          If it spills ............................................................wipe it up.
X           If you use up something of someone else.....replenish it.
XI          If you break something of someone else ..... fix it.

#3

Creation
THE TOOLS OF THE SAINT - THE TOOLS OF THE SINNER

We love God through his creation,
We ignore God because of his creation,
We oppose God with his creation.

The tools used by the saint and sinner alike are the same.

#4

Courtesy takes no more time than rudeness - just a bit more class.

#5

This is Class!
T
o not only possess the virtues, but to act them out in a natural and unaffected manner.

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#6

Wood may remain ten years in the water, but it will never become a crocodile.

                                                                                                                                                                              From Africa

#7

The possession of a great many things,
even the best of things,
tends to blind one to the value of anything.

#8

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it,
but what they become by it.
by John Raskin

#9

When God crowns your merits, He crowns His own gifts.

#10

The cobra will bite you whether you call it cobra or Mr. Cobra.
                                                                                                                                                                                             From India

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#11

Those who don't know what God expects of them,
will find it by reading what God has said.

#12

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting, too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about, don't deal in lies, or being hated, don't give way to hating, and yet don't look too good nor talk too wise...
If you can dream and not make dreams your master,
If you can think, and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools...
If you can make one heap of all your winnings, and risk it on one turn or pitch-and-toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them: "Hold On!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run, yours is the earth and everything that's in it, and--which is more--you'll be a man, my son! by Rudyard Kipling
Yet, all is for naught unless, within God's redeeming grace in charity all is done, then holiness on earth is earned, and sainthood in heaven will be won. by Anon.

#13

THE MASS

Only through the sacrifice of Christ which is commemorated as a memorial during the Mass (Pascal Mystery)
 is there any meaning to suffering and martyrdom.

#14

RULE OF LIFE
by Fr. John Hardon, S.J.


•    Daily Mass
•    Daily Communion
•   Daily Rosary (at least 5 decades)
•    Daily examination of conscience at a scheduled time during the day.
•    Daily spiritual reading of at least 15 minutes
•    Frequent proper reception of the Sacrament of Confession (at least monthly-more often preferable)
•    Learn to say the Angelus and say the prayers at appointed times (morning, noon and 6:00pm)

#15

Fear is the main source of superstition, and is one of the main sources of cruelty.
To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

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#16

While on earth, the only thing in which we grow stronger
and yet take with us when we die is God's grace.

#17

Truth is one forever absolute, but opinion is truth filtered through the moods,
the blood, the disposition of the spectator.  by Wendell Phillips

#18

Children Learn What They Live


   
When a child lives with criticism,
                He learns to condemn.
    When a child lives with hostility,
                He learns to fight.
    When a child lives with ridicule,
                He learns to be shy.
    When a child lives with shame,
                He learns to feel guilty.
    When a child lives with tolerance,
                He learns to be patient.
    When a child lives with encouragement,
                He learns confidence.
    When a child lives with praise,
                He learns to appreciate.
    When a child lives with fairness,
                He learns justice.
    When a child lives with security,
                He learns to have faith.
    When a child lives with approval,
                He learns to like himself.
    When a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
                He learns to find love in the world.

#19

FOR MOTHER'S DAY
by Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime."  Than an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said: "Have you read the specks of this order?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 180 movable parts...all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair, and six pairs of hands."

The angel shook its head slowly and said: "Six pairs of hands...no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the lord, "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"Is that on the standard model?" the angel asked.

The Lord nodded - "One pair that sees through closed doors when she ask: 'What are you kids doing in there?' - when she already knows.  Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but has to, and, of course, the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say: 'I understand and I love you' - without so much as uttering a word."

Touching His sleeve gently, the angel continued, "Lord, come to bed.  Tomorrow..."

"I can't," replied the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself.  Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and get a nine-year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly - "It's too soft," it sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly.  You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?" the angel asked.

The Creator said, "Not only think, it can reason and compromise."

Finally, the angel noticed something, bent over, and ran its fingers across the cheek.  "There's a leak," it announced.  "I told you that You were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."

"What is it for?" asked the angel.

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride," said the Lord.

"You are a genius," said the angel in admiration.

The Lord looked somber.  "I didn't put it there."

#20

Pray For What You
Need
Not For What You
Want
And Be Thankful You Don't Get What You
Deserve

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#21

Duty is ours, Results are God's

#22

A Cake Quiz

01.    What cake is an annual event?
02.    W
hat cake does a monkey like?
03.    W
hat cake is a heavenly body?
04.    W
hat cake is the biggest flop?
05.    W
hat cake do mice like best?
06.    W
hat cake is a typical American breakfast?
07.    W
hat cake goes well on a saucer?
08.    W
hat cake is found on the ocean floor?
09.    W
hat cake is always on the calendar?
10.    W
hat cake weighs the most?
11.    W
hat cake should be eaten in bed?
12.    W
hat cake is a small child's game?
13.    W
hat cake is as lovely as a transparent material?
14.    W
hat kind of cake do you feed your rabbit?
15.    W
hat kind of cake do you order at a seafood restaurant?

Answers:
    01.  Birthday Cake, 02. Banana Cake, 03. Angel Food Cake, 04. Upside Down Cake, 05. Cheese Cake,
    06. Coffee Cake, 07. Cup Cake, 08. Sponge Cake, 09. Date Cake, 10. Pound Cake, 11. Sheet Cake,
    12. Patty Cake, 13. Chiffon Cake, 14. Carrot Cake, 15. Crab Cake.

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#23

Mother Teresa's Message

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered -
    Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives -
    Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies -
    Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you -
    Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight -
    Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous -
    Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow -
    Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough -
    Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God -
    It was never between you and them anyway.
                                                      

Thomas Jefferson's Ten Rules

1.    Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
2.    Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
3.    Never spend your money before you have earned it.
4.    Never buy what you don't want because it is cheap.
5.    Pride costs more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
6.    We seldom repent of having eaten too little.
7.    Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
8.    How much pain the evils have cost us that never happened.
9.    Take things always by the smooth handle.
10.  When angry, count ten before you speak, if very angry,
       count a hundred.

#25

The Bridge Builder

An old man, going a lone highway,
came at the evening, cold and gray,
to a chasm, vast and deep and wide,
through which was flowing a sullen tide,
the old man crossed in the twilight dim-
that sullen stream had no fears for him;
but he turned, when he reached the other side,
and built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim near,
"You are wasting strength in building here.
Your journey will end with the ending day;
you never again must pass this way.
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
why build you the bridge at the eventide"?

The builder lifted his old gray head.
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There follows after me today
a youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been naught to me
to that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
good friend, I am building the bridge for him".

William Allen Dromgoole

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#26

"Let no man pull you so low as to make you hate him."
Booker T. Washington

#27

"Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us
  examine how happy they are who already possess it."

Francois de la Rochefoucauld

 

#28

If you don't find anything in life worth dying for,
 soon you find there is nothing in life worth living for.

#29

About Life

The day you were born everybody was happy,
and you cried alone.

Make your life such that in your last hour all others are weeping,
and you are the only one without a tear to shed.

Then you shall calmly face death whenever it comes.

Dag Hammarskjöld (Secretary-general of UN)

#30

Remark made by a delegate at a certain presidential
political convention July 2004.

"God must be a Democrat because he made a rainbow of people".

Reply - We don't really know if God is a Democrat, but it is certain that he did not intend his rainbow of people to create a rainbow of gods.

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#31

God Bless America!

Reflection - But wait, isn't this the same God whose love we reject and "slap in the face" when we encourage
aborting a child of his creation or contracept a human life?

#32

The Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.  He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil.  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

#33

Life is to seek God
Death is to find God
Eternity is to possess God

#34

Adoring God

I adore Christ daily two times.  The first time is at the Sacrifice of the Mass when I receive Him, Body and Blood . . . 
The second time is when I minister to Him in the poor.
                                                                                                                                                                                                           Mother Teresa

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#35

ALL ABOUT CANCER
(A bit long, but important)


 

1.                       Every person has cancer cells in the body.  These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion.  When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2.                       Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person’s lifetime.

3.                       When the person’s immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4.                     When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies.  These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5.                     To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6.                    Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc., and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7.                      Radiation, while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8.                    Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size.  However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9.                     When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation, the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10.              Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy.  Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

11.              An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding them with the foods it needs to multiply.

Cancer Cells Feed On

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder.  By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells.  Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc. are made with Aspartame and it is harmful.  A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses, but only in very small amounts.  Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color.  Better alternative is Braggs’ aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract.  Cancer feeds on mucus.  By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soya milk cancer cells are being starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment.  A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork.  Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment.  About 20% can be cooked food including beans.  Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.  To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day.  Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.  Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties.  Water-best to drink is purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water.  Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12.              Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes.  Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrefied and leads to more toxic buildup.

13.              Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering.  By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body’s killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14.              Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, and anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body’s killer cells to destroy cancer cells.  Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body’s normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15.              Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit.  A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.  Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment.  Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit.  Lean to relax and enjoy life.

16.              Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment.  Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level.  Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

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#36  How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
             before starting to improve the world.                                                   
                                                        
Anne Frank

#37
 

Whether you think you can
or you think you can't
you're right.
                        
Henry Ford, inventor

#38

If you're going through hell, keep going!
                                                Winston Churchill

#39

He who throws mud only loses ground.
                                                                                              Fat Albert

#40

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
                                                                          Mahatma Gandhi

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#41              
              
Women are like tea bags.  They don't know how strong they are until they
                                      get into hot water. 
Eleanor Roosevelt (Wife of a president)

                
             

#42

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger,
but it won't taste good.
                                                                                                                      Joe Paterno (Coach of athletes)

 #43

Fruit of PRAYER is faith
      Fruit of FAITH is love
            Fruit of LOVE is service
                 Fruit of SERVICE is peace
                                                                                                                Mother Teresa

       #44        Freedom

                     When freedom does not have a purpose,
          
when it does not wish to know anything about the rule of law
            engraved in the hearts of men and women,
          
when it does not listen to the voice of conscience,
           
It turns against humanity and society.
                                                                                                     Pope John Paul II
 

    #45                       During a Political campaign for a state governor. . .

                                           A TV accusation was made,
                 "This person is anti-abortion.  A vote for him would be a step backward."
            Reflection:  If anti-abortion is a step backward, what is their basis for opposing abortion?

                                "Thou shall not kill!"  
       If freedom to abort an unborn is a step forward for some, what kind of society do they really want.   

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      #46

                   It isn't where you came from; it's where you are going that counts.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Ella Fitzgerald

 

      #47                       
                Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many.

                                                                                                                       
      Unknown

     #48                           
          When the only tool you own is A Hammer, 

               every problem begins to resemble a nail.
                                                                                                                                                       Abraham Maslow

    #49                    If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                       Albert Einstein
 

    #50                 We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned to have the life that is waiting for us.
                                                                                                                                                                       E. M. Forster
 

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#51               Our successes mean nothing to God, while our loyalty to Him means everything.
                                                                                                               
                                   Rev. Fr. Corapi   

#52             
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition
           from mediocre minds.

                                                                                                                                                                            Albert Einstein

     #53            The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we
         
 miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.
                                                                                   
                                 Michelangelo

    #54             Death can be very beautiful - like a wedding - if we make it so. 
                         Death is still better when we are conscious and know.
                                                                                                                             Venerable Solanus Casey, O.F.M, Capuchin

   
#55            We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
                                                                                                                                            
Albert Einstein

   
#56           
To forget how to dig the earth and tend the soil is to forget ourselves.
                                                                                                                                                             
Mahatma Gandhi

    #57          Lesson Poem

               
Count up the joys and not the pains; think not of losses, but of gains;
          keep the clouds back, gaze at the sun, thus life will smoothly with you run.
               
         
Our gifts are more than all our blows, and what is best, we know God knows;
          and he will send his blessings down, some veiled, but all will hid a crown.
               
         
If we could know the meaning grand, in tears that come by God's command,
           then sweetly should we take the cross, and count as gain what seems a loss.
              
          
If only we will wait and pray, then out of night will come the day;
            and pearls long hid from human sight, will crown our brows with holy light.

                                                                                                                                                
Unknown